This week, Donald Trump went from “Les Miserables” to just plain miserable.
He threw himself a $45 million birthday party and nobody came.
The “crowd” that did show up could best be described using Stormy Daniels’s nickname for the birthday boy.
Tiny.
Here’s how John Ismay of the New York Times described what will go down in history as the most tedious military parade ever:
“Overall this was a pretty listless and low-energy parade and crowd. People wearing Trump paraphernalia far outnumbered those wearing Army hats and shirts from what I could see. There were no speakers along the parade route, so spectators couldn’t hear whatever was being broadcast by the announcers closer to the reviewing stand.”
Shorter version: sad trombone.
It was an excruciatingly boring slog. Melania fell asleep. Shit, Trump fell asleep. You know you’ve created a snooze fest when the most alert-looking dude in the audience is Pete Hegseth.
Maybe next time Trump wants to celebrate himself with an ostentatious display of military hardware, he should hire a consultant who knows how to produce this kind of show:
